


On Your Own

by iAteTheRamen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Coming of Age, F/M, Friendship, Multi, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, tsukishima and hinata and kageyama are secondary characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:53:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27507154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iAteTheRamen/pseuds/iAteTheRamen
Summary: Yamaguchi has never needed anything more than Tsukishima’s friendship. Yachi has never needed anything more than her mother’s approval. But during their first year at Karasuno, they quickly learn that things can’t stay as they are. Why does Yachi keep doubting everything? Does Tsukishima push Yamaguchi away for good? Most importantly, will they be able to face their own shortcomings?No manga spoilers! Mostly canon compliant to anime, up to “To The Top” Ep. 9.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio & Yachi Hitoka, Hinata Shouyou & Yachi Hitoka, Hinata Shouyou & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kageyama Tobio & Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Akiteru & Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	1. Monday. June 11, 2012 ~ Meeting

“So cute…”

Tadashi Yamaguchi stared slack-jawed at the trembling girl who had introduced herself as Hitoka Yachi. She was a bundle of nerves, and she seemed to be frightened by the slightest sound or movement. Her stuttering made Yamaguchi wonder why such a person would want to try being their team’s manager. The wild nature of the Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club didn’t exactly line up with the levels of Yachi’s nervousness.

There was something about her that made Yamaguchi feel off. Maybe it was her single, side ponytail. Or maybe it was her failing attempt at hiding her obvious fear. Whatever it was, Yamaguchi felt a desperate urge to figure it out. Until then, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

“Hey, what are you smiling about?”

Kei Tsukishima, Yamaguchi’s closest friend, had an eyebrow raised. But just as Yamaguchi was about to answer him, Yachi was out the gym door almost as soon as she had come. Yamaguchi’s smile quickly followed suit.

* * *

“What do you think of Yachi-san, Tsukki?”

After evening practice, the Karasuno team sometimes walked to the Sakanoshita Market to get snacks. Whether or not the team gathered outside the market to eat, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi always walked home together afterwards. Since everyone had gone their separate ways after today’s practice, the pair headed straight home.

“What do you mean, what do I think of her?” Tsukishima asked. “I barely know her.” He slid an ear cup of his headphones off his ear closest to Yamaguchi. “But she said she’s in Class 1-5. That’s a college prep class like ours, so she’s sure to be studious, at the very least. And Shimizu-san isn’t stupid -- she must see something in that manager candidate that other people don’t.”

“Something that other people don’t see…” Yamaguchi whispered. He wondered if that was what he was sensing earlier when Yachi first walked into the gym. The urge to figure out that “something” was suddenly revived in his mind. “Hey Tsukki, why don’t we go see her during lunch tomorrow? She seemed really nice, but really nervous. We should introduce ourselves and help her feel more welcome!”

“No way, I don’t wanna.” Tsukishima swatted the air, as if the discussion had materialized into a persistent fly.

“Huh? Why not?”

“I’m not gonna waste my time getting to know someone who might not even end up being part of the team. But that’s beside the point,” he said. “After what happened last Sunday, should you really be worried about your social life right now? If I were you, I’d be thinking about practicing some more.”

**** “Oh… I guess so…” Yamaguchi muttered.

About a week ago, in the Summer Interhigh Tournament, Karasuno played against Aoba Johsai -- a powerhouse school with a well-known, strong volleyball team. Aoba Johsai, or Seijoh, had backed Karasuno into a corner, and Yamaguchi was called onto the court to be a pinch server. It was his first serve at his first official high school volleyball game. With his jump float serve as his only weapon, Yamaguchi gave it his all, but still botched the serve. Despite Karasuno’s best efforts, they lost the match.

Tsukishima’s words were blunt, and to anyone else, they would’ve been considered hurtful, but that was just who he was. Yamaguchi had been friends with him long enough to know that Tsukishima had Yamaguchi’s best interests in mind, and that there was no intentional malice. They never talked about it, but Tsukishima most likely knew that Yamaguchi was still brooding over his fatal mistake.

“You’re probably right, Tsukki!”


	2. Tuesday. June 12, 2012 ~ Quiet Conflict

Yachi stood very still. The apartment always felt bigger when she was alone.

Her mother, Madoka, had found Shimizu’s crudely-drawn flyer right before leaving for work. Yachi revealed that she had been invited to be a manager for the boys’ volleyball team. On her way out, Madoka had delivered harsh-sounding criticisms, and left without giving Yachi a chance to respond.

But Yachi knew that her mother wouldn’t dwell on the one-sided conversation, and so Yachi tried not to either. Instead, she picked up all her belongings in the living room and padded into her bedroom. The homework that was due the next day had already been done. With a few hours to spare before bed time, she decided to refine the notes she took during class that day. Yachi mindlessly settled down at her desk and got to work on her math notebook. Geometry wasn’t that hard once she had gotten used to it.

_ Didn’t Karasuno’s volleyball team make it to nationals before? It’s a strong school, right? _

**** Madoka’s criticisms wouldn’t be so easy to forget after all.

Shimizu told Yachi that the team was going to Nationals again. The magnitude of their goal was almost too big for Yachi to comprehend. She thought about what it meant to represent Miyagi Prefecture in a national tournament, to be strong enough to stand among the best high school volleyball teams in Japan… To be standing among them… Among even more scary tall guys… The thought alone made Yachi feel queasy. It was the same kind of queasiness she felt when she met the boys’ team the day before.

_ Do you even know anything about volleyball? _

Yachi felt her cheeks get warm. Her mother’s words wouldn’t stop bombarding her. The more she tried to ignore them, the more she thought about them. Sure, Yachi didn’t really know anything about volleyball’s finer details like position names and such, but at the very least, she knew that the ball had to touch the floor on the opponents’ side to win a point… maybe. She never got the chance to properly learn about volleyball herself, so she didn’t know for sure. 

Yachi wished she knew more, but she was also somewhat glad that she didn’t. In her mind, sports tended to have a plethora of rules and regulations that could be difficult to memorize. On top of studying for all her classes, learning the ins and outs of volleyball could’ve impacted her grades. But if she didn’t learn, how could she become a manager for the team?

The overwhelming chain of thought led Yachi so far away from her work, she accidentally highlighted the Pythagorean Theorem in blue instead of purple. Yachi frowned at her careless error. She wanted to fix it right away, but the ideas rattling around her mind were a bit too much to handle. Her mother’s parting words couldn’t be forgotten so soon; she shut her notebook in defiance and flopped onto her bed. The unending echoes of Madoka’s voice wouldn’t allow Yachi to turn in early. She flipped open her cell phone and scrolled to her recent calls. At the top of the list, Hinata’s name stared back at her.

Before she left school with Shimizu earlier, Shoyo Hinata and Tobio Kageyama had begged to exchange phone numbers with Yachi. The two boys -- extraordinary freshman players on the volleyball team -- had terrible grades, and if they failed their finals, they wouldn’t be allowed to attend an upcoming trip to practice with other teams in Tokyo. Though she already said she would help them study at school, Yachi was still surprised when they asked for her number so brazenly. Hinata in particular was very kind and easy to get along with.

As if on cue, Yachi’s phone vibrated in her hands. She had to take several deep breaths to slow her racing heart before she opened the text message.

“Yachi-san!! Thank you again for sharing your number with us, and for helping us study! I’m excited for you to join our team!!!”

Yachi couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Hinata really was a good friend, and he truly believed that she could be a manager for the team. His unlimited optimism infected her. Yachi quickly typed a simple “you’re welcome :)” and hit send. Maybe it wouldn’t be so scary to be a manager. It might be fun.

_ That’s fine and all, but joining passionate people when you aren’t going to give it your all is the rudest thing you could do. _

Who was she kidding? “Fun?”

Did she really want to be a manager, or did she just want to feel needed? To feel like she was a part of something? The whole reason Hinata and Kageyama asked for her number to begin with was to help them get better grades. Better grades meant being able to go on the Tokyo trip, to practice with other schools and become strong. Their intention to get stronger was so desperate, they asked for the number of a girl they’d only known for two days. When she watched the team practice after school, she could see it on their faces -- the players, the coach, even Shimizu -- they were all trying so hard. She wondered if she could try ever that hard.

Yachi had never been passionate about anything in her life. Sports were too scary to participate in, and she never felt the urge to pick up a hobby. On weekends she would help her mom run errands or watch cartoons. Her goal was to work at a designer firm like her mother, but was it her dream? If she never took anything seriously before, why did she accept Shimizu’s offer to become a manager for a volleyball team, when she knew nothing about volleyball? Why would she be a manager of a strong team when she herself wasn’t strong? Above all, despite all of these facts stacked against her, why did she still feel the tiniest sliver of desire to be a manager?

Yachi jumped out of bed, flicked off the light, and ran back to hide under the covers. Her eyes closed and she wished her deep breaths would slow down her mind as much as it did her heart.

Maybe her mother was right.


	3. Wednesday. June 20, 2012 ~ Ice Breaker

Deep breaths.

Yamaguchi took deep breaths, knowing that his practicing in the mirror would finally pay off. He’d rehearsed his lines countless times; played the scenario in his head over and over. Today, for the first time in his life, he was going to lie to Tsukishima.

Every lunch break, the two shared an unspoken routine: Tsukishima would go to the market to get food, and when he came back, both he and Yamaguchi would eat at Tsukishima’s desk near the back of the classroom. This time, Yamaguchi planned to break that routine in order to properly introduce himself to Yachi.

Everything was going accordingly. When Tsukishima slid open the classroom’s front door, Yamaguchi took a deep breath.

Tsukishima walked past, and Yamaguchi got up to join him at the desk.

_Another deep breath._

They both pulled up a chair.

_Another._

When Tsukishima sat down, Yamaguchi knew this was his cue to say, “You start without me, I need to use the restroom.”

Tsukishima, confused as to why Yamaguchi was still standing and staring at him, barely muttered, “Problem?”

“Restroom!”

In conjunction with slamming his bento box onto the desk, Yamaguchi was able to elicit a raised brow from Tsukishima and some giggling from the few girls nearby.

“Okay… You look really pale. If you’re not feeling well, make sure you let Coach know before practice.” Tsukishima got to work on his bag of potato chips without even offering Yamaguchi a second glance.

Yamaguchi left the classroom to stand alone in the short hallway; he clenched his fist in victory. Though it didn’t go exactly as planned, and he completely embarrassed himself in the process, he still managed to deceive Tsukishima.

Yamaguchi wanted to create a lie that wouldn’t cause unnecessary concern. By using the “restroom” excuse, Tsukishima would have no reason to accompany him, but it also meant getting back to the classroom within a reasonable timeframe without Tsukishima getting suspicious enough to go looking for him.

Around the corner and further down the corridor jutted out a small sign that signified the room for Class 1-5. Yamaguchi took another deep breath to prepare himself for the second phase of the plan: greet Yachi, briefly introduce himself, and say something kind before leaving.

As he moved to walk through the open doorway, he froze, and his face grew even paler than before. Phase Two failed instantaneously. He needed to abort the mission.

“Yamaguchi-san! What are you doing here!?”

“O-Oh, I was just on my way to the restroom, and--”

“Come here and join us!”

Being called out meant he couldn’t just leave -- Yamaguchi had no other choice than to come in and sit with Yachi, Hinata, and Kageyama. They pushed together two desks to accommodate the party.

Though all four of them were freshmen, Yamaguchi still felt isolated from Hinata and Kageyama somehow. He had spent so much time planning how to properly introduce himself to Yachi, yet the other two went and did it after less than 24 hours of first seeing her. It was pathetic enough that Yamaguchi had to rehearse the ordeal over several days. The most pathetic thing of all was that Yamaguchi himself was the one who suggested that the duo go to her for help studying. Yamaguchi knew that Tsukishima’s tutoring was getting to be more and more stressful for them, and for some reason, Yamaguchi wanted to help the poor guys.

Yachi, on the other hand, was panicking inside.

_Oh no! Another player whose name I don’t know! Calm down Yachi, calm down. You probably haven’t been introduced to him yet. And he’s not a stranger, you’ve been watching them practice after school for the past week! He’s... Number 12… I can’t believe after a week of working with him, you only know him by his jersey number!”_

“Yachi-san!” Hinata said. “This is the guy! The guy who said we should come to you for tutoring because you’re smart!”

The blush that flooded Yamaguchi’s and Yachi’s faces could’ve been seen from a mile away. They both stared down at their hands and smiled nervously. Hinata didn’t have the slightest clue that he had put them both in an awkward situation.

“Idiot!” thought Yamaguchi. “I didn’t say that! I said she must be good at studying since she’s in a college prep class!”

Yachi was extremely flattered, and somehow, also confused.

She was the type of person who instinctively judged others based on appearances, all for the sake of survival (should someone be a threat to her life.) When she first met Asahi Azumane, the volleyball team’s best offensive player, she mistook him to be a shady adult because of his height and beard. When she accidentally crossed paths with a man who donned bleached hair and piercings, she ran in fear of getting attacked, not knowing that he was Keishin Ukai, the team’s coach.

So when she got her first good look at Yamaguchi up close, Yachi’s complete lack of a fight-or-flight response left her bewildered. She didn’t feel like she was in danger. In fact, the impression Yamaguchi gave made Yachi feel like he was someone she’d known her whole life.

Nevertheless, even when someone didn’t _look_ scary, meeting someone new was always a frightening experience for her. She wasn’t sure why new people always made her so anxious. Her “nice to meet you”s were always accompanied with sweaty palms and dry lips. Yachi’s stomach did a nervous flip -- she knew she needed to break the tension.

“I-Is that so?” she stuttered. “That’s very kind of you to say… Um…”

Though it wasn’t in the plan, the chance to properly introduce himself finally came. Yamaguchi looked up at the still pink-faced Yachi and gave a small wave.

“I’m--”

“This is Yamaguchi!” Hinata suddenly said. “He’s our pinch server. He’s tried to tutor us before, but that Stingyshima always interrupted to make fun of me and Kageyama.”

“Yeah,” said Kageyama without looking up from his note-taking. “Yamaguchi is pretty good at most subjects. It’s that tall pain in the ass that keeps us from properly learning anything.” 

Hinata pouted. “Kageyama! You don’t need to say words like that! Especially in front of a girl! Say ‘butt!’”

“Ass.”

“Butt!”

“Ass!”

“Now now you two,” Yachi said, “Don’t forget that you need to be studying. Before you know it, lunch will be over. Hinata-kun, Kageyama-kun looks like he’s gotten ahead of you in the notes.”

“Oh crap!” said Hinata. “I’m not gonna lose!” He shifted Yachi’s notebook so that both he and Kageyama would be able to see it better.

When Yachi turned to look at Yamaguchi, she saw sadness painted on his face.

Yamaguchi didn’t hear Kageyama’s unintentional compliment of being an above-average student. “Pinch server” occupied his entire mental capacity. Reminded of his failure against Seijoh, his anger at his own novice skills and his embarrassment at hearing “pinch server” out loud melded together, resulting in a pitiful look of discomfort.

Kageyama and Hinata’s bickering proved that they hadn’t noticed Yamaguchi’s reaction. Yachi, however, did.

“Yamaguchi-kun, what do you like besides volleyball?” 

This snapped Yamaguchi out of his deep thoughts. He looked up at Yachi to see her forcing a semi-nervous smile, which quickly spread to infect him with a nervous smile of his own.

“Sometimes I play video games…” he started. “When it’s been a while, I have a meal at WcDonalds… Between homework, volleyball practice, practicing at night, and hanging out at Tsukki’s house, I don’t usually have time for myse--”

“No way! You practice even more _after_ practicing with the team? That’s cool!” Yachi knew that the team was full of hard workers, but it was still amazing to hear about it from individual to individual.

“I-It’s not that big of a deal! Shimada-san -- ah, an alum of Karasuno’s volleyball team -- has been teaching me how to do a jump float serve for almost a month, now.”

“Ohhh, is that what you’ve been doing during serving practice? I always wondered why yours seemed different from everyone else’s.”

“Yeah. But I’m still not very good at it… I-I keep messing it up, and sometimes I feel like there’s been no improvement at all since I started…”

“Huh? But ever since I joined as a trial manager, my notes have shown you improving within the past week.”

“W-Wha--?”

Yachi took out a notebook and flipped through the pages before stopping and handing the notebook to Yamaguchi.

“Shimizu-senpai said that one of the duties of being manager is to monitor the progress of the players and the team overall -- when someone plays better, or worse, and the possible causes for both, whether it’s mood-based or an injury. She told me to spend each day observing one or two people to get to know everyone and everything better without getting overwhelmed. As you can see, over the past week alone, the success rate of your serve has an upward trend of...” Yachi trailed off when she noticed Yamaguchi’s face remained hidden, buried in her notes.

“Amazing… You’re amazing, Yachi-san! Look at all these notes. You’ve been working so hard!”

“Eh!? T-That’s, um... T-Thank you… The notes I’ve been taking show that you’re getting better at your serve, little by little. You’ve been working hard, too.”

In that moment, Yachi and Yamaguchi were grateful to have the notebook barrier -- both of their faces were so red and hot, they could’ve been mistaken for fevers.

“Y-Yachi-san? Do you think that--?”

“Yamaguchi.”

Tsukishima glared as he towered over them all.

Trembling violently and close to tears, Yachi prepared to run, but was immediately calmed when Yamaguchi said, “Tsukki!”

Yamaguchi quickly stood up and awkwardly smiled. He’d been caught. “W-What are you doing here?”

“You’ve been gone for more than fifteen minutes,” said Tsukishima. “You weren’t in the bathroom, so I figured you’d be here. I didn’t expect the freak duo, though.”

“Why you--!” Kageyama had started to roll up his sleeve when Yachi put a hand on his shoulder.

“L-Let’s calm down…”

“Go away, Tsukishima!” Hinata said without looking up or stopping his writing. “Since you only want to tutor us a few minutes before and after practice, we haven’t been able to study properly! That’s why Yachi-san has been helping us even more.”

“Oh, is that so?” A corner of Tsukishima’s lip pulled upward in a smile, but anyone in the group could tell that it was only friendly on the surface.

Yachi thought that this was it. She was about to get killed. Her face paled as she began taking shallow breaths.

Yamaguchi noticed right away.

“Tsukki!” he said cheerfully. “This is Yachi-san. Yachi-san, this is Kei Tsukishima. He’s in the same homeroom as me.”

“H-Hello,” Yachi whispered. Deep down, she was in complete disbelief that Tsukishima, a freshman at least six feet tall, was the same age as her. She couldn’t reach five feet even with her shoes stuffed.

“Hello,” said Tsukshima. “I’m very sorry that you have to deal with these idiots for more than five consecutive minutes at a time.”

Kageyama jabbed his pencil in Tsukishima’s direction. “You’re the idiot, idiot!”

“Wowww,” Tsukishima drawled. “It’s nice to see that your vocabulary hasn’t improved a bit, even after all that poor Yachi has been trying to teach you. When your test scores come back, make sure to apologize for wasting her free time.”

As Tsukishima picked on Kageyama and Hinata, the three began to squabble.

Yamaguchi and Yachi turned to each other. Both apologetically smiled.

* * *

“So. You went and introduced yourself anyways.”

“N-Not really!”

With fifteen minutes left before the end of their lunch break, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi walked leisurely back to their classroom. Yamaguchi knew that Tsukishima didn’t have to say many words to make him feel guilty for going to see Yachi. But for now, he didn’t want to feel bad about what he’d done.

“I was on my way to the bathroom when Hinata saw me walk by. I kinda got roped in without a say. He said he wanted me to meet Ya-- I mean, the trial manager.”

Tsukishima frowned. “Of course…” He didn’t like Hinata’s bright and bubbly personality. It was too different from his own. “Well, you still have time to eat.”

“Sorry for making you wait.”

“Don’t sweat it. I already finished while you were gone.”

Yamaguchi didn’t care about much in that moment. He didn’t care that things didn’t go the way he imagined, or that Tsukishima found him. What mattered was what he had learned.

Even if it was just for volleyball purposes, Yamaguchi was in Yachi’s line of sight.

Tonight, he would remember that he was capable of successfully lying to Tsukishima’s face -- _twice_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read through my work! I truly appreciate it.  
> If there’s anything you think I can do to improve, please feel free to let me know!


End file.
